Then I asked myself, so what? Does it changes anything?...I think so
Ever since I started running, I've always wanted to complete a marathon...42.195km...at least once before I stop running. And this year I registered for my first ever full marathon...this coming June...the Stan-Chart KL marathon. I suppose like most first timer, I was a little hesitant, a little doubtful...
took 5 minutes just to scroll through the map...quite scary indeed
I should be able to run at least 21km. After that I can just jog slowly. I don't have to run the whole length and when I can't run anymore, I can always stop running and start walking. I'm sure I can finish the race. That's how I convinced myself to sign up
And then I read this book. It reminded me of my first running event...a 10km race...back then it was considered a very long distance to me, a much heavier and lazier me. And it was not my hobby yet back then. I just participated to have some fun with friends, and I liked the idea of running around the city. And to get that running singlet (which I'm wearing now...and to go to bed later). I didn't even prepare. My target was just to finish the whole race running. I kept reminding myself that I can jog very slowly but I must not stop running. Although I wasn't proud with the time, I was happy that I managed to run the whole length... (I participated again the following year and improved significantly)
The book also reminded me of my first half marathon. It was the time when I started to get a bit more serious with running (after the first half marathon to be exact).
When I participated in my first half marathon...21km...again I had no expectation with my timing, again I told myself I must at least run the whole distance...
But then half marathon is not as forgiving as 10km race. Entering the last 5km I felt a terrible cramp at my thigh all the way to the calf. It hurts when I run, but it hurts even more when I stop running. I jogged very slowly and in pain all the way to the finish line. Again I wasn't proud of the time and I can't even run the whole distance, but I learned a valuable lesson in running...(I participated again the following year...better prepared...the timing improved...and better than that, I was able to enjoy running the last 5km)
This book reminded me of the targets I'd set for my first ever 10km race and first ever 21km race. I had not much expectation with my timing in both, but I was at least determined to finish both races running.
So why is it that suddenly in my first ever full marathon, that I allowed myself to not finish the whole race running? Isn't it another milestone in my running journey? Shouldn't I at least try harder before giving up and making excuses?
Perhaps its luck that I read this book before the race. I still have about 7 weeks to go. Its not enough, but I must try to make the most out of it. Who knows, one day I may be able to write my own memoir on running. When that happens, I want to end the chapter on my first ever marathon with "At least I managed to finish the whole 42.195km running."
(in the meantime, I'm trying to increase my mileage to 30km in the next 5 weeks, and start tapering down for the race...wish me luck)